Monday, October 24, 2011

I thought you said this wouldn't be hilly...


Some of the LGA contingent at the Ride to Provide
Last Sunday, along with over fifty other members of the LGA community, I participated in the Ride to Provide, a bike ride that helps support the very beneficial work at the Hillel of University of Massachusetts at Amherst. Why did so many of us get involved with helping Hillel when most of us don't have a direct connection to the organization? It helped that they were willing to split whatever money we raised, through entrance fees and coaxing friends and family to sponsor us. But two more reasons come to mind that I'd like to explore: 1) As members of the Jewish community, it is important that we support the organizations that make our community a vibrant and viable place to want to live; and 2) attending community events like the Ride to Provide send a strong message to our children -- namely, that being part of a school community happens for all members of the family, all during the week, not just between 8:15 and 3:15 on weekdays. 

Let me focus on the second point first. The community at LGA is truly a special one, as I've mentioned many times. When prospective families come to tour our school, one of the first "concerns" centers around what type of community LGA is. Our school has done a really good job at getting families from across the Jewish spectrum to feel comfortable walking through our doors. More often than not, parents are sitting on the bench outside the main office questioning the fact that they are considering a Jewish day school for their child. As they walk around the building and peek into classrooms, their fears slowly melt, and their interest is piqued enough to want to continue in the process. But what often seals the deal is talking to other families whose children are in the school. It quickly becomes apparent that, among our many outstanding qualities, this community embraces diversity, and is a warm, loving environment for children to spend their formative years. There is no comparison. 

Now, why is it so important to support other Jewish agencies? I could probably compile a list of reasons a mile long and still come up with more. I always think about one essential question, something that one of my mentors taught me to ask. It's pretty simple in theory, yet it can be answered in many ways: "What is good for the Jewish people?" When faced with a dilemma, asking this question helps crystallize my thoughts for me. When we as a community say that we support the important work of Hillel (or the Jewish Federation or the local synagogues, etc.), we are sending the message that it takes the entire community to support one another, not just those who are directly affected by the results. That's what I mean by asking "what is good for the Jewish people." When our LGA students see cool, hip college kids who are active in their community, that has a lasting effect on them. I clearly can remember when a group of teens came into my Hebrew school class to talk about youth group and all the cool things that they did. I was sold on getting involved. That was good for the Jewish people. 

Last Sunday, as I was riding my bicycle with my 30-pound son in the seat behind,  climbing the eighteenth "mountain"in Amherst and rueing the day that I signed up for the ride, I chuckled to myself:  This is what I meant by "what is good for the Jewish people"? Stepping outside our own organizational bubbles to help other organizations strengthens all organizations. 

Monday, October 10, 2011

Living under one roof...

I am going to let you in on a secret: My wife, Rebecca, and I (and this is going to be hard to believe!) don't see eye-to-eye on everything. Don't get me wrong, I love Rebecca unequivocally. When it comes to parenting we wholeheartedly agree on many, many things, but there are also times that we have to compromise before we come up with a decision that feels right.

When reaching such a decision, we often weigh the pros and cons. Sometimes the conversations are more spirited and one of us has to capitulate. But in the end we form a united front, and we support each other even when the decision didn't go our way. This is what it means to live under one roof.

LGA shares a similar ethos when we approach decision-making. The difference is that there are so many voices to take into account. Multiple voices can result in a refreshingly open process at best, but at worst the results can be alienating, leaving people feeling bad or left out.

Many times it is all about compromise. This being a small Jewish community, some voices can seem like solo opinions because there aren't many others aligning with them. In these cases, the school makes decisions that will make our entire community comfortable. One area that comes to mind is not holding birthday parties on Shabbat and Jewish holidays.

For an important segment of our community, there is no compromising on this issue. Shabbat is the center of the home. These families send their children to a Jewish day school in part so that they won't have to choose between Shabbat and a birthday party. Students at LGA genuinely like each other -- you will often see an entire class invited to a birthday celebration. When we decide to celebrate a birthday on Shabbat, however, we are asking some families to make concessions on their belief systems, and we are excluding students from participating in important rites of passage.

It is natural to want to hold a birthday party on a day off from school, but remember that some families in our school will be alienated. Birthday parties are important times in the lives of children. Fond memories are made of these moments. As a school community, we need to reprogram ourselves to abstain from throwing birthday parties on Shabbat or Jewish holidays where work is prohibited. I am happy to have a conversation with anyone who might have a question.

When we make this choice, we send a strong message to our children about living under one roof as a community, so to speak, and presenting a united front.